instead of a love letter…
Chicago is a strange place. It is an urban canyon with towering skyscrapers and glittering signs. It is a city fascinated with revolving doors, steel bridges, and perfectly symmetrical street blocks. The sidewalks are immaculately clean, and in every corner there is yet another architectural marvel and historical landmark waiting to be discovered. And yet, there is a Midwestern sensibility underlying all of its metropolitan guise. You can’t walk 50 yards without running into a local joint that makes the damnedest Italian beef sandwich. Enough people still use the word “sir” and “ma’am” when addressing a stranger. Opening the door for others, waiting until women walk through first, and answering questions when tourists ask are all part of the charm. Much has changed, and yet much has stayed the same since my days in seminary in this windy city. There is a sense of progress without losing its identity. There is an evolution.
I had a conversation with a friend recently that was triggered because of his recent survey of my Facebook profile. Whatever he saw on my page must’ve caused him concern to ask me “if everything was ok.” I tried hard to recollect what recent updates were made, and whether any of it was risqué, salacious, or downright troublesome. A few harmless wedding pictures, a few incongruous check-ins, and some recent photos of our anniversary trip was all I could remember. So, I naturally responded, “Everything is great! Why?” This friend then asked whether or not I was still a Christian. I thought it to be a very bizarre question arising from my Facebook profile, and did my best to think what wall posting or status update would have hinted at my apostasy.
Perhaps it is the fact that sometimes, people change. I have changed. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius is more impacting than any John Piper book. Truth and beauty have been discovered in Siddhartha than A Purpose Driven Life. I can’t say anymore I enjoy Sufjan and all his clever Christian theology in hipster folk music skin. Wilco’s cynicism and Regina Spektor’s Human of the Year speak to me. The Bible is a masterpiece as literature, but hard to understand. There are more questions than answers, more uncertainties than certainties, and more “maybes” than absolutes. I still consider myself a person of faith, even if it looks very different from before. Perhaps that is what triggered my friend’s question.
While in Chicago, I met with one of my students from youth group from back in the day, and we had a delicious Argentinian steak with a bottle of wine. Is a student always a student and therefore subordinate, and never a friend? Even Jesus at the end of his tenure on earth called his disciples “no longer servants, but friends.” There was something strangely satisfying when he referred me to others as his friend. There is an evolution.
